Self-esteem means feeling good about yourself.
People with self-esteem:
feels loved and accepted by others she is proud of what she does believe in herself
People with low self-esteem:
she feels bad about herself she is hard on herself think it's not good enough
From our parents, our teachers and more people. The people in our lives can influence how we feel about ourselves. When they focus on the good we have, we feel good about ourselves. By being patient when we make mistakes, we learn to accept ourselves. When we have friends and get along with them, we feel accepted.
But if adults scold us instead of praising us, it is difficult for us to feel good about ourselves. Bullying and being picked on by your siblings or colleagues also damage your self-esteem. Harsh words leave a mark, and they become a part of what you think and how you feel about yourself. Fortunately, things don’t have to continue like this.
Your inner voice. The things you say to yourself play an essential role in how you feel about yourself. Thinking things like: “I am a failure: I always lose” or “I will never make friends” damages your self-esteem.
There are other ways of thinking about the same things. “I haven’t won this time, but maybe I will win next time.” “Maybe I can make some friends.” This inner voice is much more hopeful. It helps you feel good. And it could become real.
Sometimes our inner voice is based on the harsh words that other people have said to us. Or in bad experiences that we have had. Sometimes our inner voice is very harsh on us. But we can change that inner voice. We can learn to think better things about ourselves.
Learn to do things. We feel good when we learn to read, add, draw, and build things. Play a sport, play music, write a story, ride a bike. Set the table, wash the car. Help a friend, take your dog for a walk. Everything you learn and do is an opportunity to feel good about yourself. Take a step back and see what you are capable of. Let you feel happy about it.
But sometimes, we are too harsh and critical of ourselves. We don’t accept that what we do is good enough. If we think, “It’s worth noting,” “It’s not perfect,” or “I can’t do it well enough,” we miss out on building our self-esteem.
Low and stable self-esteem
When self-esteem is low but stable, it is because the individual’s self-esteem is and remains low regardless of external events (even when they are favorable), without making the minimum effort to raise it or defending their points of view by not considering themselves good enough.
Low self-esteem does not allow the person to recognize the qualities he possesses, putting any other person or situation above his own needs or desires. An individual with low self-esteem constantly thinks that he is not enough or that nothing can make him worthy of something more than what he receives; even he may think that what he receives is not meritorious.
If little acceptance surround him and they condition his worth, self-esteem decreases.
Low self-esteem is related to the flawed concept that a subject has of himself; he feels misfit, is worth little, and has little decision-making capacity by not trusting his abilities.
It will also have harmful speech inside. Said internal dialogue will produce unpleasant feelings in the subject, such as mistrust, insecurity, and fear, which will lead to a constant discourse centered on the expression “I can’t.”
Demotivation will be a motto of life, so in the face of new challenges, the illusion disappears when insecurity increases.
Unstable low self-esteem
This depends on external events for its evaluation: if a favorable or successful event occurs, the confidence in your person rises, and, after the victorious moment, it falls back to its initial level. It is one of the most dangerous levels that exist since they depend entirely on the events of the environment.
People with this type of self-esteem cannot listen to others or recognize when they have made a mistake, assuming a hostile position when trying to make them see that they have made a mistake. They are individuals with strong personalities, and they believe they are better than others.
Martín Ross, in his work “The map of self-esteem” raises three types of self-esteem:
Collapsed or low self-esteem
Those who present this type of self-worth generally have a terrible concept of themselves. They are vulnerable people to what they think of others. If the opinion is negative, your self-esteem will collapse, and if it is positive, it will increase.
Vulnerable or regular self-esteem
It is one where the person feels good about himself, but this appreciation can change if they fail to achieve what they set out to do or if they face painful situations such as the loss of a loved one. They are people who feel sorry for themselves.
Strong or elevated self-esteem
Those who carry this type of self-esteem are usually cheerful and optimistic. They do not fear failure as they value themselves positively; they have a strong image of themselves. They take responsibility for their mistakes and are not influenced by factors in their environment.